In this day and age of Oprah, Tyra, Dr. Phil, and a host of other tv talk shows, you hear such a range of shocking confessions, that it can make the average mom feel a bit lacking if she doesn’t have something dicey to tell.
But the fact is, there is a “dirty little secret” that many moms have and are afraid to share with anyone.
Boredom. That’s right. Nothing juicy. Just plain, uninteresting, nothingness. Boredom.
But there is a never ending list of things to do. So, how, you ask, could a mother ever be bored?
Well, back up a minute. Read what I wrote - carefully.
I did not say she wasn’t busy. I said she was bored. There is a huge difference.
As a mom, we have long lists of things to do. Sometimes we are actual list-keepers, dutifully checking items off, then rewriting the remainders of the list on a new sheet of paper for another day. Others of us just fly by the seats of our pants and do as much as we can in a day, sort of reorganizing our to-do list in our heads as we glance over our shoulders to see the wake of what’s already been done.
No matter which method is more your style, no matter how busy your day keeps you, from time to time, maybe even daily, it creeps back in...that little secret that you’re so afraid will find its way out.
Sometimes it comes up when you’re invited to a party, or gathering of some sort. The panic strikes you as real and painful as the sudden scorch of your curling iron. What on earth will you talk about? When the other people there are prattling on about their careers, investments, vacations, hobbies, church functions, sports teams or bridge clubs - or even the extra curricular activities of their children, you can already picture yourself shrinking back, silently praying that they won’t ask what you’ve been up to. After all, isn’t that the standard question, “We haven’t seen you in so long. So, tell us, what have you been up to?”
Gulp.
How do you possibly make laundry, bill paying, chauffeuring and cooking sound exciting? Um, let’s see, I tried a new laundry detergent this week because I had a coupon, but I found it didn’t really perform as well as my previous one. LOSER! Those high-interest credit cards are tough, huh? BORING! Little bit’s sporting events and ballet classes are killing my gas tank, but uh, no, they haven’t won any games, trophies, medals or had any real accolades for me to brag about. WELL, NOW THAT’S JUST AWKWARD! We had lots of pasta noodles to use up, so it’s been nothing but spaghetti and mostaccioli for us this week. FASCINATING STUFF!
Other times, that little secret is just there, nagging only you. How long has it been since the phone rang? Why don’t people call me anymore? How many times have I checked email and Facebook today? Good grief, get a life already! How many hours until hubby gets home? What does it matter - what could he possibly see in me anymore anyway?
Boredom, for all it’s nothingness, is a very big something for a lot of us.
We love our kids. We love them more than anything. But we are well aware that even if we spend most of our time doing things for them, they are not our whole life. They may require a lot of our time, but they don’t necessarily fill us up.
Before motherhood and beyond motherhood, we are still women. We are still human beings, longing for purpose and a sense of accomplishment and worth and self-respect.
It is so easy to become a mother, and nothing else, that by the time the little secret starts to reveal itself, you are so entrenched in your daily duties that you have no idea what to do about it. And you certainly can’t tell anyone.
Well, unless you’re a blogger, that is.
All blogging aside though, you’ve got to break outside that boredom box before you suffocate. The problem is we spend so much time thinking that we “just need a change”, but we either don’t know what that change should be, or we mistakenly think it has to be some big event akin to busting the sides off that box we’re in, like a stick of dynamite roared through it. In reality though, sometimes the only way out of that box is to peel back one little splintered piece of wood at a time.
It’s been said that you will never see anything change if you do everything exactly the same. There is so much truth in that! So today, do something differently. It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant that something seems.
Put a different kind of syrup on your morning pancakes. Wear your hair up instead of down. Drive a different route home from school. Peruse the library shelves or online catalog, browse the craft supplies store, paint one small daisy on your kitchen wall, join an online game group such as Scrabble or Chess, type something into Google that you’ve never tried before.
The smallest tweak in your daily routine could prove to change your entire life. Sometimes the smallest steps can lead to the biggest inventions, a whole new business concept, recognition of a need in society that isn’t being met, or your own personal makeover. You just never know where inspiration will come from.
Even if your little tweaks don’t lead to huge, world-changing events, they are sure to lead you into, at the very least, a different outlook on your otherwise boring life. You may discover a new hobby, a new group of friends, or a new passion, but you’ll never discover anything if you keep tuning in to the same daytime tv and eating the same bag of Oreos.
Wipe those crumbs off your mouth and get out there. There is a whole world to explore and a whole new you to create. Stop being afraid of the splinters in the box. Break out. Today.
Then, the next time you’re invited to a party, your splinter-bandaged fingers will be a reminder of just how far you’ve come and how much you have to talk about.
You can do it. But you have to start - somewhere, anywhere. Today.
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