I don’t need to study astronomy to know that there must be a full moon right now. I can tell because, growing up, my family always said a full moon brought out all the “crazy” people, and today, it was I who got a crazy notion in my head.
Somehow a blip occurred in my brain that allowed me to believe I might actually be able to leave the house, unaccompanied by children, for a full 90 minutes.
I was invited to a group dinner, even blessed to be offered a free meal by a very kind new friend who knows we are struggling financially, and I was looking forward to getting to know this group better. Now just how exactly the blip in my brain convinced me that the mere invitation, generosity and eagerness were all I needed to make this rub of the lamp a reality, I can’t really say.
Oh, but what a powerful little blip it must have been! For, it erased all former certainty of the shackles around my ankles and replaced it with delusions of freedom.
Imagine, a tiny glitch in the circuitry that could completely wipe clean the mile-long list of work days, wedding anniversaries, birthdays, bridal and baby showers, friends’ holiday parties, doctor, dentist, lawyer, estate planner, financial advisor, and auto repair appointments for which I have never had a babysitter! Oh the wonder of such a malfunction that could pry off the choke hold of anger, bitterness, resentment, self-pity, and sadness with which years and years of unreliable people have gripped my spirit! How amazing a surge that could pry off the fingers, heal the bruises, and actually give me the courage to ask for babysitting assistance again. Why, it’s simply remarkable!
Watch out though, lest you fall victim as I did. For this is no ordinary little computer blip. It masquerades as an innocent helper, when in reality it is a vicious virus, pulling you in and then wreaking havoc once it gains your trust.
For there are no babysitters. It’s all an illusion, created to make you think that people are anything other than selfish, uncaring, and conveniently forgetful. For there will be files upon files infected with all kinds of mumbo jumbo about how they aren’t able to stray from their normal routine, and unresponsive commands when you state all your reasons for needing to get away, and yet, strangely enough, the entire system will shut down when there is any mention of how many places to which you drug their little rugrats to get them off their hands before someone got hurt.
The good news is this virus can be easily uninstalled. All you have to do is take a good, hard look at your family and friends, start counting just how many there are and put that number in a ratio with how many are actually ever available to watch your children, watch the absurdity of the numbers for a few seconds, then wait a few minutes for the old system of bitterness to reboot, and voila, you’re back up and running - ragged, that is.
For you will never, ever get a break, not for 9 minutes, let alone 90. Well, maybe you will. Maybe you have generous, selfless, sympathetic people in your life who regularly check your hardware for bugs and put you into “rest” mode at the first sign of trouble.
But over here, where I sit tonight, there is light streaming through the window. Hold on, let me check.... yep, just as I thought... there’s a full moon outside.
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